Starrylizard

Woo! I am officially a bronze goddess over at atlantis_lvw. (ie. I came in third)

CONGRATULATIONS to celli for winning the competition
wickedwords for coming in second and
darkhavens for coming in forth.

That was a tough competition and so much fun! Thanks to slodwick for running it and to everyone that took the time to vote. :)


I can now reveal my final story was: Shaking Hands With the Devil (Gen, teen, no spoilers).
Warning: It's fairly angsty future fic.

( fic under the cut )

The final round of atlantis_lvw is up for voting now.

There are just four stories up and voting it for YOUR FAVOURITE stories. Just list all four in order of most favourite, second favourite, etc. Easy!

Theme this week was "First time" with the added challenge of "involving a form of communication other than English."

So go and vote! *squee* Stories are found in +++THIS+++ entry! Go for it. :)

My fic so far:
Challenge 1: Kiss and Make Up (Teen, slight spoiler for Duet, possibly McKay/Sheppard)
Challenge 2: Some Assembly Required (Gen, K+, Zelenka, Weir)
Challenge 3: An Athosian Christmas Tale (Gen, K+, no spoilers)
An alternative #3 I didn't post: Elizabeth’s Gift (Gen, K+)
Challenge 4: Memory in Movement (Gen, no spoilers)
Challenge #5: Radiance (Gen, No spoilers)
Challenge #7: Paintball Wars – Scientists vs Military (Gen, No Spoilers)
Final challenge: To be revealed -- Go vote now!

Hey would you look at that?!! I'm in the final round of atlantis_lvw!

Here's week #7's fic. The prompt was: "playing games". Also, at some point during the story, someone must explain an Earth custom/item/concept to someone from the Pegasus Galaxy. Word count req: 500 words or less. The other stories can be found HERE

Thanks to sakuracorr and smuffster for a quick last minute beta.
This story was just some cracky fun. I'm still a little surprised it survived this round of culling, but I'm definitely not complaining. :)


Paintball Wars – Scientists vs Military (General Audience, No Spoilers)
By Starrylizard

( click for fic )

I'm still in atlantis_lvw. *Does a little dance*
This week's challenge (Challenge #5) was "falling" secondary characters, nameless or OOC characters only, <600 words.
My entry was #5 and is below. :) Thanks to rinkle for the beta.
Only 7 contestants left. Next week will be the last normal round, so please vote!!!


Radiance (General Audience, No spoilers)
by starrylizard
( Major Lorne shifted slightly in the warm night air as he casually poked at the little campfire with a stick. )

Here's my atlantis_lvw entry for prompt #4: Practice, only female characters allowed (<500 words)

Author: starrylizard
Characters: Charin and Teyla
Summary: Charin watches Teyla and remembers
Rating: General audience, no spoilers
Beta: rinkle


( Memory in Movement (General audience, no spoilers) )

( response to this week's comments )

This is the fic that I almost posted for Atlantis_lvw challenge #3: Gifts (<600 words), but I just didn't think it worked, so I wrote something else.

I just thought I'd post it here for opinions and discussion. I actually like a lot of the analogies, but I was having a lot of trouble with Sheppard and the ending just never felt right. Sort of contrite or something. Hee! I know it's not great when rinkle has the same feeling about it. (Bless her little heart!) So, feel free to comment freely on this one. Maybe one day I can fix it up.

Shep meta very welcome. How does his relationship with Elizabeth (I don't mean romantic here) function? I had a really long discussion about this with yokiem and made up my mind, but had no way to put it into words.

Oh, also, I have a feeling I was still switching tenses (even after a couple of drafts), so if you see it, point it out.


( Elizabeth’s Gift, Gen, K+ )

atlantis_lvw challenge #3: Gifts <600 words. Here's my entry. I'm still in! Amazing!
Thanks to rinkle for the mutual beta-reading.


( An Athosian Christmas Tale (Gen, K+, no spoilers) )


_______________
EDIT: Just got my comments and this one has me confused. Is there anyone who can explain what they mean to me? Please.

...it seems to go from 3rd person omniscient pov (or maybe even John's pov, I'm not sure) to Rodney's pov part way through. It might have been better told from one of the children's pov, or maybe from an observing adult other than Rodney or Sheppard.

I thought it was all an omniscient POV (sort of like having cameras in the room). Am I wrong? How could I fix that?
Comment anonymously if you're uncomfortable. I don't bite though.

My entry for challenge #2 of atlantis_lvw. The prompt was: Repairs (<400words)
So, I'm still in the running. Lets see what Challenge #3 brings.


( Some Assembly Required (Gen, K+, Zelenka, Weir) )___________

Response to feedback/Author's notes:
-- To the person who said it's not really "self-assembling", you got me there. Though I thought those kits that you put together yourself and come with all the tools and bits were referred to as 'self-assembling'. Perhaps I was wrong.

-- The abbreviation of Doctor to Dr, doesn't require a period after it in English/Australian spelling. Why this would be a reason for two people to rank my fic in the bottom three still baffles me anyway. *shrugs*

-- "No need to introduce the characters" Um, that would be this bit 'The scruffy Czech scientist' I assume. I don't think I described Elizabeth and I really didn't think three words was overly descriptive of a character. *is confused* though each to their own.

Thanks for the feedback, even if I am a little confused by it this week.

This was my entry for challenge #1 - Mistaken Identity - at atlantis_lvw. Originally posted anonymously here


Kiss and Make Up (Teen, slight spoiler for Duet, possibly McKay/Sheppard) by Starrylizard
Oooh how could I forget to add that this was beta read by the lovely rinkle, who is also still in the comp. Thanks Rinne!

( Read more... )



Notes: I found the feedback/reasons for votes very interesting. It seems many people found it confusing and couldn't figure out the relationships. My response - that was deliberate and the point of the story. I understand if it didn't work for you though.

There were a few other things mentioned that I agree with completey. Yes this story is a little stilted and probably needs more build up. It did have it to begin with too... but, dude...1000 word limit! I rest my case. *grins* (note to self: Write a simpler story next time, so the word limit isn't such a pain. *g*)

Thankyou to people for the feedback. It was really interesting and hopefully will help me with the next entry.

And hey, I got through to the next round! Yay!