Paintball Wars – Scientists vs Military (General Audience, No Spoilers)

[starrylizard]

Hey would you look at that?!! I'm in the final round of atlantis_lvw!

Here's week #7's fic. The prompt was: "playing games". Also, at some point during the story, someone must explain an Earth custom/item/concept to someone from the Pegasus Galaxy. Word count req: 500 words or less. The other stories can be found HERE

Thanks to sakuracorr and smuffster for a quick last minute beta.
This story was just some cracky fun. I'm still a little surprised it survived this round of culling, but I'm definitely not complaining. :)


Paintball Wars – Scientists vs Military (General Audience, No Spoilers)
By Starrylizard


Rodney jutted his chin out stubbornly. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sheppard crossed his arms, leaning back. “Come on Rodney, mil-it-ary.” He lengthened out the word to emphasize each syllable and raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying baiting the other man. “We’re trained to shoot people. Your scientists wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“We’ll see about that.”


~ 2 hours later ~


“So, you shoot each other with paint?”

Rodney nodded.

“Why do you do that?”

Rodney gave an exasperated sigh, looking at Sheppard to clarify the concept. Colonel Sheppard brought a hand up to loosen the muscles in his neck and grinned at Ronon.

“It’s a training exercise. You don’t want anyone to get hurt, so you shoot with paint. Once you get paint on your clothing, you’re considered dead and you have to leave the game.”

Ronon still looked completely puzzled.


~ Paint ball skirmish, somewhere on the mainland – Team McKay ~


Rodney paced in front of his science staff, most of whom looked rather nervous and ill-at-ease in their tac vests and protective glasses, carrying homemade paintball guns.

“Okay, we’ve trained for this. I’ve come up with an ingenious plan if I do say so myself, and we have the advantage of vastly superior intellects. Now, the aim of the game is to protect that flag.” He pointed at the white flag with ‘Team McKay’ stenciled in bold letters upon it. “Let’s do this. Man your positions.”


~ Scientists 0, Military 0 ~


Miko dashed into the trees, Ronon confidently following at a sedate jog. He aimed at the small scientist, only to find himself suddenly pelted from above.

“Ha, got you!” cried Radek.

Ronon pointed upward to fire.

“No no no, you are dead now, see?”


~ Scientists 1, Military 0 ~


“You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

Rodney pointed the paint-ball gun at Major Lorne, a large grin lighting his face as he watched the Major dangle from a leg trap, his own gun well out of reach.

“Learnt that one from Ronon.” Rodney fired.


~ Scientists 2, Military 0 ~


Sergeant Campbell moved quietly, Lieutenant Cadman close behind. The apparently unguarded flag was just up ahead.

click

“Sergeant, don’t move!”

Too late; as the Sergeant’s foot came up there was a resounding bang. Cadman scowled at Campbell as the two soldiers found themselves covered head-to-toe in bright pink paint.


~ Scientists 4, Military 0 ~


Sheppard keyed his radio, not for the first time.

“Cadman, Ronon, Lorne? Anyone? Report.”

Nothing but static came back. He scowled, keying the radio off again.

He spun around at the crack of a stick behind him, weapon raised, and fired. Rodney froze, hand outstretched and almost touching the ‘Team Sheppard’ flag, scowling as he looked down at the blue splodges of paint now marring his tac vest.

Then Miko, Katie and Radek dashed out into the open, firing in Sheppard’s general direction.

Sheppard frowned, looking down to the random dots of pink paint now covering his uniform and back up to Rodney. “Best of three?”

~ Scientists win ~